Jan 29, 2013

وَيَجْعَلُ مَن يَشَاء عَقِيمًا

Since I have been married almost 2 years and till now I didn't get pregnant, my doctor advised me to do a blood test to check the storage of ovum that I have before starting the treatment, and actually this test is not available in UAE, so the hospital sent it outside and informed me that it usually takes 10 days to get the result back. I did it  two months back and I didn't get the courage to follow up with the doctor to know the result, today I waked up and decided to take this day off and get the result ... and wished I didn't! I have no storage! I have no ovum remaining! even I am not that old!, She told me this thing is from Allah, born with us and all your storage have been consumed over the years, and this storage is depending on how many ovum we have when we born. 

سبحانك يارب لا علم لنا الا ما علمتنا 
لا إله إلا أنت وحدك لا شريك لك، لك الملك ولك الحمد وانت على كل شيء قدير
اللهم لا مانع لما أعطيت، ولا معطي لما منعت، ولا ينفع ذا الجد منك الجد

Yesterday I was hearing Quran and the shiak reached to this ayah so i left the room to not hear this ayah as I had a feeling that I may be عقيم! and today I got the result to prove my feeling!

 ﴿لِلَّهِ مُلْكُ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ يَخْلُقُ مَا يَشَاء يَهَبُ لِمَنْ يَشَاء إِنَاثًا وَيَهَبُ لِمَن يَشَاء الذُّكُورَ * أَوْ يُزَوِّجُهُمْ ذُكْرَانًا وَإِنَاثًا وَيَجْعَلُ مَن يَشَاء عَقِيمًا إِنَّهُ عَلِيمٌ قَدِيرٌ﴾(1)

Now it really black and not I am in a bad mood! الحمد لله على كل حال ... and I am sure this thing is for my good.


  1. لا حول ولا قوة إلا بالله

  2. حبيبتي ليو
    الله يقوي ايمانك و يسعدك و يجزيكي على كل شي شفتيه و حتشوفيه كل الخير يا رب

    ربنا كريم وما بحرم انسان شي الا بعوضه احسن منه سبحانه
    وانت انسانه بتستاهلي كل الخير و هالحكي الكل اللي بعرفك شخصيا و اللي بس بعرفك هون متاكد منه

    ربنا يعوضك اضعاف اضعاف الخير ياااااا ﺭﺏ

  3. Dear Sister,

    This is not the end of the world. I know it is not easy but I wish Allah give you the strength and the patience to face it. I know you know it but I want to remind you about (Loqman, 17):
    يَا بُنَيَّ أَقِمِ الصَّلَاةَ وَأْمُرْ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَانْهَ عَنِ الْمُنكَرِ وَاصْبِرْ عَلَى مَا أَصَابَكَ إِنَّ ذَلِكَ مِنْ عَزْمِ الْأُمُورِ

    So patience is not easy, but you will be rewarded In Shaa Allah.

    Having said that, I want you also to be optimistic and remember two things:
    1. There is always hope. Remember the story of "Zakariya" (peace be upon him), he had "Ya7ya" (peace be upon him) when he was certain that he will not have any children. Similarly, the story of "Ibrahim" (peace be upon him). So you need to keep that hope even if you are sure it will not happen. Don't build anything on that hope but just keep it alive.
    2. Who said that having children is necessarily a good thing?! I want to remind you here about the story of "Mosa" (peace be upon him) when he went with the wise-man ("Al-Khodr" according to some) and he killed the little boy while they were together. Remember how he explained this action to Mosa later on. Is there any guarantee that any parent will have a good child? Simply: there is none.

    So take it easy (although it may seem otherwise) and remember: (AlBaqara, 216)
    وَعَسَى أَنْ تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌ لَكُمْ وَعَسَى أَنْ تُحِبُّوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ شَرٌّ لَكُمْ وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنْتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ

  4. الله يعوضك كل خير

  5. لا حول ولا قوة إلا بالله. الله يعوضك كل خير

  6. I`ve read the comments and I don`t have A/SOME to add but I`ll say this:

    u r a strong woman to write this down and share it, u have a powerful soul and it shows not just in words above but throughout ur blog here.

    As with everything; it`s all relative and chances are good because always ,,always there r paths to get through any obstacle, that being said, having faith is a cornerstone as well, and I hope/wish/pray from all of my heart -we all do, I`m certain- that u r amongst who have faith, regardless of what happens in the turmoils of this life.

    الله يرزقكم الصبر و أن تجدوا لهذا الضيق الذي ألمّ بكم مخرجًا ترضون به

    الله يعطيك تا يرضيك ..و أكثر
    آمين ، آمين

    Allow me to end by reiterating that u r strong!

  7. صدق الله العظيم

    يا خيتي .. ربنا ما بترك حدا
    اذا اخذ اشي .. بيعطي اشي ثاني
    واذا سكّر باب .. بيفتح أبواب

    اتوكلي على ربنا .. ما الك غيره يعينك ويقويكي

    وانا من رأي الشيشاني
    لتكتبي .. وتعبري وتفضفضي ..
    هذا بدل إنك بنت قويه وبتقدري تعدي من هالمحنه وانتي اقوى

    الله يحميكي ويعينك ويهدي بالك يا رب

  8. مؤمنه و شجاعه انتي ....
    ولا يعلم الغيب الا الله سبحانه وتعالى

  9. ترددت كثير قبل ما أعلق
    خفت عليكي كثير
    وقلقت انك راح تدخلي بدوامة جديدة انتي في غنى عنها كمان

    بس لما قرأت آخر سطر
    ... and I am sure this thing is for my good.

    إرتحت جزئيا , إذا إنتي آمنتي بالحكي هاذ, هون راح تكون البداية انك تحطي الموضوع ورا ظهرك (وهو مش سهل أنا معك ) وتمشي بالحياة :)

    الله يقويكي خيتي, وإحنا هون كلنا إخوانك وأخواتك , والله بهمك بهمنا واللي بفرحك بكون أحلى من العسل على قلوبنا :)

  10. You know what Lioness, I was thinking about you yesterday. I think you shouldn't give up yet. You need to get another opinion. Make sure they got it right. Do another test, who knows.
    And for sure, Allah knows the best for us. But, in the future if you still feel that you want a baby, I will suggest adopting one. You will get the reward from Allah for raising an orphan. Now there are medicines that help stimulate your breast milk, so you can nurse the baby and so you will be her/his mom in Islam too. So the baby will be yours except for the surname. I just wanted to share this idea with you, but ofcourse you know what suits you the best.
    As everyone said, you seem a strong lady.
    "When Allah loves a servant, he tests him."

  11. Dear Friends,
    Thank you for your kind feeling and I am really sorry for bothering you with my problem.

    Alhumdullah I am feeling much better now and al humdullah I am still breathing :) for a moment I felt my heart will stop but alhumdulah allah lataf :)

    the doctor gave me long list of medicines (7 tablets twice a day this means 14 tablets daily *_* ) I became a moving drugstore *_* al humdullah and after 3 months we will do the test again .. ادعولي :)

    @SuSu :D Thanks for feeling and sorry again for disturbing your day thinking of me :) so kind of you :)

    Dear friend :)
    ادعولي and i'll keep you updated :)